On my 18th birthday, my mom wrote me a letter telling me how grown up I was and how she knew it was time for her to "cut the apron strings". Not sure if that is a phrase anyone uses any more, but I specifically remember that in my letter. I don't know exactly where it is at the moment, but it is a keepsake box that I run across from time to time. And I when I read it, I cry like it was yesterday that she gave it to me. You see, I've always been tender-hearted. My mom said that I got that from my daddy's mom. At wasn't always sure it was a compliment since she was often considered "over sensitive". I am sure if you ask my children about their mom. They would say the same thing. Sometimes emotional people, tender-hearted people, whatever you want to call us folks...tend to be overly sensitive too and sometimes have a hard time dealing with things. But overall, I am glad God made me this way. Sometimes it is hard to cope with, but I would rather be overly sensitive than cold hearted. It does make me the mommy-wife that I am!
So back to the letter. My 18th birthday was the summer after I graduated high school. Cari's was 1/2 way through her year and thought never occurred for me to write one to her then. She still had much maturing to do. It's like it all came together just weeks before she left for school. So I had the idea to do hers before she left and give it to her to read after I left her at her dorm for the first time. Being the procrastinator that I am I waited until the morning before she left to compose my letter. So by the time, I got Cari and Randy up, I had already poured my heart out as typed it on the computer (I certainly didn't hand write it) and of course, you might guess, I cried as I typed. It turned out to be one page (front & back) not bad for me! I am not including the letter to this blog post. It was a very personal one-side conversation to my daughter. I just re-read it. Found all of my grammar errors, typos and misspellings. I ran out of time that morning and had not time for proof reading. Oh well...she knows how to read between the lines.
We were running a little later than planned. Probably because I spent a little more time on my letter than I intended and thus got everyone up later. You have thought she would have been the first one up. She has been so ready to go for so long...so she says! But that was okay since we had no specific time to be there. We did choose to go in 3 vehicles so Randy could come back home work a half day and so that I could stay there and help her get settled. Before we left, Randy stopped us before walking out the door and wanted us to pray. He broke down crying as he started. My reaction was "I knew it would it you sooner or later". [He has been saying it wasn't going to cry. He was fine. He was ready...you know all that dad stuff.] He said he wasn't crying because of her leaving but because of the time he lost when he was a jerk. [I will share more of the background of this. Randy is recovering alcoholic. He quit drinking this past winter.] Of course, we were all crying before long. I love my family so much and I am so proud of the growth we've seen in our lives because of God's saving grace and power. On the way to eat before coming home. I asked Cari to ride with me rather than with the boyfriend because I knew from there I would be headed home. At this point she had not seen the letter I wrote, but I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her and I was fine because I knew she was ready. It was also the first chance we had time to mention what had happened during the prayer before leaving the house. I don't even remember who brought it up. But I do know I will remember it forever. She said that she had already forgiven him for the past and that she was just happy over the time that we had (like the last months). Our family life has been so much better. Often no one really knows what you go through. This was one of our family secrets. I am so glad that I God gave us freedom and rescued us from this demon. GOD IS SO AWESOME!
The day didn't go smooth by all means. I had car trouble before even left. Fortunately I have guy who is good at some many things who took care of this before leaving about 30 minutes later. After we got everything unpacked in the room and made a list of what we needed, we went to Johnny's Pizza right down the road for lunch. We had to take back her pink futon that we had picked up the day before at walmart. She really thought she was going to have more room. Actually, she thought she could put it under her bed. Oh well...live and learn. We bought some food and misc items for her at walmart when we took it back. Her meal ticket didn't start until the first day of school. After the 1st shopping trip to walmart, Randy dropped back off at the dorm and he headed back to work. Her roommate's boyfriend, help hand the curtain rod and then later John Mark helped with some wall hanging too, but other than that (and bring boxes in), Cari and I unpacked and organized her room. I ended up making another walmart trip leaving her there to work. Surprisingly enough, we finished before dark. We had a dinner at her Red Lobster, John Mark's fave restaurant, of course, Cari and I love Red Lobster too. I hugged them each and left. I love the peace that God provides for you when you needed it the most. I didn't even cry!
Okay, I have one more thing I want to leave with you on this post. Last week while looking through some of my quotes, I ran into a quote that was perfect for this week.
HERE IT IS:
"A MOTHER IS NOT A PERSON TO LEAN ON, BUT ONE WHO MAKES LEANING UNNECESSARY"
After reading this one again, I felt even more pride and peace as a mom. Looks like I've done my job!
1 comment:
I like the letter idea! Maybe I'll use that in 18 years!
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